


someone to watch over me

by orphan_account



Series: a disquiet follows my soul [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, is it destiny or is it hallucination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-30
Updated: 2012-09-30
Packaged: 2017-11-15 09:17:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/525696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It really is just like Merlin to continue driving Arthur absolutely insane during his waking hours without even knowing it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	someone to watch over me

**Author's Note:**

> the entire continuation of this verse was borne out of a long conversation with a friend about how battlestar galactica should be fused with anything and everything. you don't have to be at all familiar with battlestar to read this but if you aren't, what are you doing? don't read this fic, go watch battlestar!

It starts as flashes of dark unruly hair spotted out of the corner of his eye during morning training sessions. It turns into familiar grins hidden among crowds of strangers as he walks through the lower town. It's barely been two weeks since Arthur helped Merlin flee from his cell in the dead of the night, and the other man is never far from his thoughts. Arthur tells himself that it's nothing more than wishful thinking, the hapless thoughts of the moronically besotted. It's not enough that Merlin should plague his mind at night with dreams made all the more frustrating with the knowledge of the distance between them, it really is just like Merlin to continue driving Arthur absolutely insane during his waking hours without even knowing it.

It's not until Merlin creeps up behind him during a meeting with the king that Arthur starts to wonder if maybe he genuinely is going a bit mad.

"Arthur? Arthur, are you listening to me?" Uther demands, leveling Arthur with a glare that would have shriveled all of his self-confidence normally, but remained ineffective as Arthur glanced distractedly over his shoulder at a calmly smiling Merlin.

"Yes, of course, sire. I will do exactly as you asked," Arthur replies absently, not entirely sure what he just agreed to, but needing to be dismissed from the council chambers as soon as possible. Uther's tight nod is all the dismissal Arthur needs to flee the room and make his way determinedly towards his rooms. He doesn't turn around to see if Merlin is following him for the entire walk across the castle, but he doesn't have to. Arthur can feel his presence, even if he can't explain it.

Once he is safely inside his own rooms, Arthur slams door the shut, locks it, and turns to face Merlin. "You're not really here, are you? You _can't_ be."

Merlin lounges backwards against the door, arms lightly crossed. "Can't I? How do you know that I'm not using magic to project my image here? Or that I'm visible only to you?"

"Because you can't do that. I know you're powerful, Merlin, but you told me once yourself that you're rubbish with spells that affect your own body. Too bloody clumsy for your own good. So, the simpler explanation is - "

"The simpler explanation is that you're going mad?" Merlin who is not Merlin asks, one eyebrow raised in curiosity.

"No! Or - or I suppose that you could say that the simple explanation is that," Arthur stops and clears his throat, uncomfortable with where this discussion is going, " - is that I wish that you, the real you, were here and I haven't had nearly enough sleep lately, and all I'm doing is talking to thin air."

"You don't sound convinced."

"I'm not." Arthur collapses into his chair, feeling vaguely defeated and overwrought. He rubs tiredly at his eyes, and contemplates asking Gaius's advice. If anyone could provide Arthur with an explanation for all of this, it would have to be Gaius.

"You're right when you say that I'm not the real Merlin. He's not that powerful." Merlin shrugs half-heartedly. "Not yet, anyways. Give him a few years, and I'm sure he'll be able to manage it." Merlin uncrosses his arms and walks over to Arthur, placing both hands on either side of Arthur's head, and leaning in close. Arthur sucks in a breath because it's not enough that he looks and talks like Merlin, but he smells like him too. Arthur is close enough to reach and find out if he feels like Merlin too, and he wonders idly if he'd kiss the same way too.

"Let's just say that I'm here to help you and leave it at that," Merlin says, meeting Arthur's eyes and angling in closer so that they're practically sharing the same breath. Part of Arthur is telling him that none of this is real but still he strains upwards to close the gap between them, only to find that he is straining towards nothing. The Merlin who is not Merlin has vanished. Arthur lets out a frustrated sigh and leans heavily back in his chair, cock hard and body aching with exhaustion and misery.

He must be losing his mind.

+

Another day, another council meeting, and another innocent young child thrown at the feet of a king that would all too quickly see her blood spilt across the cobblestones of Camelot's main square.

It shouldn't surprise Arthur that this would be the moment that Merlin chooses to make his presence known again, but still he gives a start at the sight of the dark-haired slim figure kneeling down next to the girl.

"She's barely ten years old, Arthur!" Merlin exclaims, fixing Arthur with a fierce glare.

"Father, surely the accounts must be mistaken. This girl is but a child, and hardly capable of causing any harm," Arthur says, unable to meet Merlin's gaze. If his argument doesn't work on the king, Arthur knows he wouldn't be able to bear Merlin's disappointment in him.

It wouldn't do for another magic user to go mysteriously missing from their cell in the middle of the night so soon after the last, and Arthur knows an escape attempt for this young girl would be risky. Uther's rage has been barely contained since Merlin's escape, and he's been eager for justice to be wrought, no matter whose head winds up on the chopping block. Arthur knows that Uther believes fully that what he's doing is best for the kingdom, but too often has Arthur felt at odds with his father and king as of late.

A glance at Morgana and the rigidness of her posture tells Arthur that her thoughts mirror his own. More and more with each passing day Arthur has been tempted to confide in her but there's no way of knowing just how deep her sympathy with magic users runs until its too late, and all of his secrets have been laid bare.

"Evil knows no age, Arthur. Do not allow yourself to be so easily deceived," Uther states in a tone that is clearly meant to brook no arguments.

"It was the half-brother," Merlin speaks up from his position from the floor where he had placed a comforting hand on the girl's shoulder, a comforting hand that she couldn't feel. "He was the one who put forth the accusations, has no one stopped to wonder if he was even telling the truth?"

"I'm not deceived, Father, I was simply wondering if the source of the accusations was truly trust-worthy enough to execute a child over."

Uther glances down at the crying girl and frowns. Inwardly, Arthur lets out a sigh of relief. 

"Very well, find the man who turned her in and find out what he has to say for himself."

A few hours later and Arthur finds himself staring down with a disgusted look on the sobbing half-brother who had nearly seen his sister killed for petty jealousy.

"Throw him in the dungeons for a month," Arthur orders the guards. As they take away the still-sniveling young man, Merlin looks straight at Arthur and smiles, before vanishing once more.

+

Not for the first time, Arthur finds himself asking why it's Camelot and not any other kingdom that is so besieged with mystical creatures that prove nigh impossible to kill. He lost two good men before deciding to go off on his own to face this particular creature. Somehow it always has to be him. It never feels as if there's anyone that Arthur can properly rely on. Not anymore.

Arthur readjusts his grip on his sword and eyes the reptilian-like monster before him, assessing the best way to go about challenging it.

"It's a lindworm," a voice calls from Arthur's right. "You're going to have to chop off its head, it's the only way you'll know you've killed it."

Merlin. Of course.

"I'd actually figured that one out by myself, but thanks for the utterly useless advice," Arthur calls back. "Unless you want to use some magic to help me out, but something tells me you can't do that."

"No," Merlin says cheerfully. "You'll have to rely on the real me for magical help. I'm just a spectator."

"Wonderful," Arthur mutters before feigning a right and praying to whatever greater powers there might be in this world that this so-called lindworm isn't as intelligent as it appears to be.

It is.

Nearly twenty minutes pass before Arthur gets in one lucky swipe and slices the monster's head clean off, leaving its body parts to twitch helplessly in the grass before finally going still.

Arthur hears slow clapping coming from Merlin's direction, and he growls in irritation. Arthur sheaths his sword and strides towards Merlin, pushing him into the tree that he was lounging against, enjoying the feeling of their bodies colliding against each other.

"So, let me see if I have this right. You're Merlin but you're not the real Merlin, not my Merlin. No one else can see you but me, but you're not all in my head. You're here to come and go as you please, and occasionally give half-arsed advice and send me completely around the bend."

Merlin's lips curve into a genuine smile. "Can you live with that?"

"Maybe if you learned to stay around a little longer," Arthur grumbles half-heartedly, before finally closing the distance between them.

+

Thousands of miles away, in the same moment, the real Merlin is whistling as he walks along a rarely used back road when he stops short at the familiar figure of Arthur Pendragon standing in front of him.


End file.
